Lifesize Ken

sometimes i feel as if i myself try too hard to dress for everyone else. honestly, if lust and physical affection were not such problems in this world(and if there wasn't cold weather) i wish we didnt have to wear clothes.they were meant to cover our bodies and keep us warm. they were meant to hide our parts of our body that is attractive to save for our chosen one. i dunno, now it realy does feel like clothes are just a judgement. "don't judge a book by it's cover." now that phrase really hits me.I don't get it. style,fashion.its so important to many people i know, in which if they actually focused on the more important things in the world, it just might relieve the stress as becoming someone we're not.sometimes i feel like i need to dress a certain way in order to impress my girlfriend.sometimes i feel the need to impress people when im around her so she feels confident enough to know that she has someone people are attracted to, though thats not important in a relationship, rather being far less important than our common interests and shared memories.I don't want to attract anyone. I odn't want to impress anyone. I don't want to think i am someone better than anyone else. I am human with the same capabilities as everyone else. I don't want to think i am better because of my style, and honestly i think people are better than me because of their clothes (which is sad because it really means nothing as far as judging).but i really do feel the need to lust someones style, they pull off a certain image.but really? Some people i know, i get the feeling they like a certain someone mostly for the physical attraction.i feel like a nobody when no one talks to me for me and not my clothes.i hate shopping at h & m and forever 21, though theyre my favorite stores and i dont go out shopping too much, because i like the clothes but i see all these people running around everywhere.....its like heaven for people. but i dunno, really i cant even fully express how i feel about my disgust with fashion. it literally disgusts me. when i see a any girl with makeup,any girl who is extremely pretty or gorgeous, i only think to myself,why? why is she so pretty? why does she try so hard to look pretty? is she expecting anyone to observe these factors?is there really anything at all interesting about her personality that makes her unique? i know everyone is unique, but there are also many people who are just straight-up programmed. u know how u can go to best buy and buy a 24 inch imac.......u can buy 2, or 3, or 4....and all of those imacs u have will operate thew same exact way as each other. absolutely nothing different between them.thats who i am talking about. i lifesize computer.i don't want to be a computer anymore.I dont want to care about the stupid things i worry about if people like me or not. it doesnt matter. it doesnt matter if i don't like band tees, or if if i could, i would wear long sleeve button up shirts and a tie everyday of my life if i could. it doesnt matter wut they think......it doesnt matter if i have a passion for cartoons and kid shows i watched as a kid......it doesnt matter if i was into anime or not.it doesnt matter anymore.i want to live my life with an open interest without the world behind my back to care.