well, this is my first blog, dunno if anyone will actually read it, but lets see, something i think about alot that i should lay out right away......
it really kills me to think that this world is coming to an end. its really weird. all my life ive grown to believe i will grow old and have kids and a family. up until this year. someone said something about the stupid mayan calendar.....so i did some research and done my time around the smokeclouds of rumors floating around. and wow. i am honestly scared to death. but in a way, i remind myself, maybe its not true. ok. so supposedly the world is supposed to end or a drastic change will take place on december 25, 2012. which is none other than the Christ's birthday. hhhmmm, well, lets see, if it were true, it would make sense that the calendar ends on that date specifically since its the birth of Christ and well, maybe thats his 2nd coming.the economy is doing absolutely horrible, Obama is our new president(not saying its a bad thing,just saying, maybe people are right about him being the anti-christ----i hope not), worldly disasters becoming worse and global warming, humankind in general is slowly falling apart(money,morals and values,separation of race and religion,diseases,homosexuality----which btw, i dont have a problem with that,its just that man and woman were made for eachother,so stick with it.)everything seems like its slowly lining up for he fate of the world. maybe its destiny.gods plan. its the cariest thing in the world to me that this world that we've known for several years from one generation to another is suddenly ending. the one question that hits me all the time is "why me?"....why our generation? why not another one? why not earlier? it has to be us? i mean, ive fantazised about so much in life and what i can become, but all my dreams suddenly end when the thought of an apocolyptic event floats around in my head. and honestly, this is what i stress about the most, everyday and almost every second of my life. im not ready to die. ive always felt like i was meant for something bigger. ive always felt like i was supposed to make a major difference in this world.Maybe i am the knight fighting for the pawns,an assymetrical face of society, in this apocolyptic process. I am only 19, but i feel that i can do soething more. for the strangest reason, i feel like i have something to offer this world, and ive yet to figure this out. Could this feeling be a calling? maybe i could be a someone to this generation that seems to be falling apart.i am no more than man. i make mistakes and learn. i suffer just like everyone else, but something feels so much different. I am starting to believe that if this world is coming to an end, i am supposed to do something important. i am supposed to be a somebody,out of god's work of art.
